Dark Nights and Starry Lights
by Bluebell Ballads
Summary: "Seemly darkness swallowed Hillwood's sky. Arnold gazed up and took in the blackness from the boarding house steps. It was the nights like this that made him question his choice. The nights that reminded him of his childhood." We all know Arnold and Helga end up together, but there are bumps along the road. One-shot about the unofficial "end" of Arnold and Helga.


**Author's Note: My first fanfic, edited and revised! Arnold decides to break up with Helga after some "stormy times." Although things end for now, does that mean they end forever? Set Post-TJM and prior to The Patakis. Constructive criticism and reviews highly appreciated!**

Seemly darkness swallowed Hillwood's sky. Arnold gazed up and took in the blackness from the boarding house steps. It was the nights like this that made him question his choice. The nights that reminded him of his childhood. As he closed his eyes, the memories came flooding back. The night he and Gerald convinced everyone to turn off their lights. The night he, Gerald, and Helga descended downtown to the Haunted Train. The night he and "Cecile" (yes, he had found out years ago Cecile was Helga) dined at Chez Paris.

"So... football head? What did you want to tell me?"

"Huh?" Arnold had become so lost in his thoughts that he forgot about the girl sitting beside him. Helga smiled. She was used to Arnold's wandering mind by this point. A loose strand of hair fell down the side of her cheek. He felt the urge to tuck it behind her ear, but he knew that doing so would be too intimate. He held himself back, knowing he shouldn't get so attached.

* * *

><p>At first, they were foolishly in love. After they came back from San Lorenzo, they spent every day together. They held hands as they walked home. They shared ice cream sundaes at Slausen's. They bat eyelashes at each other when they played at Gerald Field. When years led them into junior high, their relationship became more serious. Everyone at school stopped teasing them, for it was common knowledge that Helga and Arnold were "a thing." She spent days, sometimes nights, at the boarding house with him. They did their algebra homework together (she much faster than him, of course. Helga was always sharper when it came to school) and she rested her head on his lap. She often stayed over for dinner, much to the delight of the boarders. Grandma and Grandpa fussed over her and asked her opinions about the city. Helga laughed at all of Grandpa's jokes and Grandma's antics. She formed a tenacious bond with Ernie as she possessed a great fascination with his job. She admired Mr. Hyunh's singing voice and cooking skills. She even managed a tentative relationship with Susie, whom Helga had taught to stand up for herself instead letting Oskar drag her around. In dating Arnold, Helga had become part of the family. Surprisingly, Arnold loved having her so ingrained in his life.<p>

What he missed most of all is how they were when they were alone. They used to be loving and affectionate. He put her arms around her and she laid into his chest, rambling about the works of Edward Hopper or Sylvia Plath. It was funny. He used to find her constant opinions exhausting, but he had grown to love them. They were so indicative of who Helga was; she never took at surface value, always seeking to look underneath and find depth. He suspected her critical thinking had to do with the way she was herself, for he knew Helga was more than met the eye, so she probably knew that other things the same. He valued her opinion so much that sometimes he put on his jazz CDs and asked what she thought of them. She complained jokingly, purely out of mock-spite, but he cut her off with his lips. She squealed in surprise before reciprocating, their kisses slow and passionate against the smoothness of the trumpets.

He should have seen it coming. She shared the darkest shadows of her soul with him: her book of poetry, her overprotectiveness of Phoebe, her fear of inadequacy. She was already insecure in taking down her walls, but he just _had _to push. He just _had _to demand more. And slowly but surely, their arguments erupted. The catalyst for doom arrived when Arnold asked why he never stayed over Helga's. He knew her family was messed up and never paid attention to her, but couldn't he at least try to get along with them? He could tell they were a big part in Helga's life, more so than she let on. She detailed enthusiastic stories about road trips with her mother and beeper sales at Big Bob's store. He could tell she loved them but pushed them away. Why did she push them away? Couldn't she at least try to resolve things between them?

Helga snapped. They both blew up in a huge fight, standing their ground without backing down. Sure, they made up the next day, and sure, they fell asleep in his bed together, but Arnold still felt wrong. He tried to talk to her again the next morning, but Helga had enough. She stormed out of the boarding house without so much as breakfast.

It built and built. She held unmoving bitterness towards him. She tore him down at every turn, criticizing his blue sweater and red shirt ("I mean, REALLY, Arnold, we're in America. Can you get an outfit that looks less Scottish?") He'd taken it at first, but after a week, he'd cracked. He took her down and targeted her flaws: her hard exterior, her inability to show her true emotions, her lack of effort to get along with Gerald. Helga fought fire with fire, yelling at him about his constant idealization of the world, his over-imaginative mind, the discrepancies between his lectures and actions.

Then his parents asked if he could move to San Lorenzo with them. It was an offer he couldn't refuse. Last time they asked him, he turned down the offer. He found it was the wrong choice to make. He missed them so much since then; letters and phone calls weren't enough to bridge the distance. And he had loved the jungle the last time he had visited. It had given him the freedom and space to clear his mind, which is why he only realized his feelings for Helga there. With everything so hectic in Hillwood, maybe a move would be good for him.

Helga hated him for saying yes.

They chased a cycle of fighting, making up, and sleeping in the same bed. Their fights and their touches possessed conflicting messages. Their words said _LEAVE_ while their caresses said _I need you, don't go _"He did need her. He loved her. He couldn't picture his life without her, for Helga G. Pataki had shaped him in ways she never knew. That's why for so long he clung. He knew she deserved better, but he couldn't admit it. But he needed to end the cycle. It was the right thing to do for the both of them. Last night was the first time he he admitted it out loud:

"I need to break up with Helga."

* * *

><p>"Look, Helga," Arnold cleared his throat. He could feel the crystal pools of tears forming in his eyes. He pushed them back. "I-I know we've been fighting a lot. I still really care about you, but I just don't think this is going to work. Especially since I'm moving back to San Lorenzo. So... " He gulped a pocket of air.<p>

"I get it," Helga smiled. Her blue eyes danced under the streetlights.

"You do?"

"Yeah," Helga moved closer to him on the steps. "I've been pretty awful to you lately, and I still care about you a lot, but I think that for the time being, as much as I HATE to admit it..." She fiddled with her fingers as her voice became small. "I-I don't think we should see each other, anymore."

"Yeah," Arnold leaned back on the steps, saddened at the anti-climatic end. "Kind of sucks, huh?" He said after a while.

"Yeah," Helga chuckles. "We did have a good thing going for some time."

"I'll say," Arnold grins, finally getting the nerve to tuck the strand behind her ear.

"I'm going to miss you, Football Head."

"I'm going to miss you, too Helga," Then he playfully added, "But I don't know if I'm going to miss you calling me Football Head."

"Oh, you know you will."

He would.

"Anyway," Helga stands up. "Want to head to Slausen's for a milkshake? Get one for the road?"

"Sure, Helga." He and Helga headed down the street until Arnold stopped, remembering something.

"Hey, Helga?"

She turned to him.

"Yeah?"

"Arnold wrapped his arms around her. Startled, she took a few moments to register his embrace, but slowly, Helga pulled him closer. Holding her, Arnold caught the light aroma of lemons from her hair.

He inhaled. It was one of his favorite scents of Hillwood.

They said nothing when they broke apart. The rest of their walk was spent in silence. Arnold pondered his future life ahead and his relationship with Helga. Would he ever see her again? Were they never meant to be together again, or was the timing just not right?

Arnold shook his thoughts away when they entered the parlor and ordered a few milkshakes. Helga narrated a hilarious story about Nadine and Rhonda playing basketball, and Arnold laughed so hard drink came out of his nose. Helga guffawed alongside with him, and Arnold couldn't help but think to himself, _Things with Helga are going to be alright. Maybe __not forever, but at least right now._

* * *

><p>When Arnold awoke for his flight a week later, Grandpa Phil had a surprise for him. Helga had dropped in the middle of the night and delivered a package for Arnold. He wondered why she couldn't just give it to him when she saw him off in the morning, but this was Helga G. Pataki he was talking about. As well as he knew her, there were times when she was unpredictable as Grandma.<p>

Arnold opened his gift on the plane. Enclosed was a blue, leather-bound notebook, a full stack of envelopes, and a 46-pack of stamps. On the inside cover, she had stuck a note in her signature cursive handwriting:

Dear Arnoldo,  
>I can't say I'm surprised that you're leaving. I mean, you were always bound for adventure in this small-minded town. Anyway, I got you something so you wouldn't forget all about us here. I know you and your football-shaped head are going to have some great adventures and I want to hear about them. Write often, okay?<p>

Love,

Helga

Arnold looked down one last time at the light-filled city of Hillwood.

He smiled to himself, whispering,

"I will, Helga. I will."


End file.
